When they are asleep...

So every night is like a marathon...dinner, bath, bed. Come on we can do it. Negotiations about how many stories...

Isabella: Well what if we read three short books and one long one?

Momma (AKA Jenna): What about just three short books?

Isabella: We can read four books because I am four years old.

Momma (AKA Jenna): Isabella, mommy is really tired can't we just read a few books?

Isabella: I don't think you are that tired.

This will go on till I usually give in. Let me say, that I love reading books with her, just not as many as she would like (which if she had her way would be about 10)

After they are both in bed (note that I did not say asleep) and after Bells pops out about 5 times for potty, water, to tell me something impor-tint, and any other reason her four year old mind can come up with, it is then glorious MOMMY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommy can catch up on her news (Facebook) watch some educational programming ( The Office, Ugly Betty, etc.) and basically put my brain on vacation for an hour (or two).

Sometimes I feel a little guilty about how happy I am that they are asleep. Did I really just rush through books because I wanted to see who took the "what radiohead song are you quiz on facebook?" Less snuggles with the snuggle boy because I wanted to see if Jim and Pam had the baby yet (they haven't FYI but seriously how long are they going to drag that out?)

It is at about this time of guilt, that I sneak back into their rooms. Usually Bella's first. I love to watch my kids sleep. I get a glimpse of the sweet little faces she made when she was a baby. For brief moments, I can see my tiny baby girl in the face of my almost five year old big girl's face. And the smell of her slightly sweaty head and they way that she snores a little, Jose says she gets that from me, but that is so untrue ; )

Sometimes I lay down with her and just cuddle with her. I am reminded all at once how fleeting the days are. The days when she wants me with her. She wants me to read to her, watch her color, go to the park, sing songs, bake, and just be together. I know the days of her wanting me all the time are numbered. In the not to distant future she will want to be with her friends more than me, and think I am old, out of touch, and boring (as all teenagers come to see their parents).

Next off to Sandro... which is tricky because he is a light sleeper. But if I can get in his room and steal a peak of his current adorable sleep position (using his Ugly Doll as a pillow, adorbs!)

I am happy with that. Of course the obligatory new-baby-paranoid-mom-move, put a finger next to his nose and make sure that he is breathing. I know unnecessary as he is almost one, but also entirely necessary because I am sooo paranoid. (I can't remember but I think when Bella was three I stopped being worried about SIDS)

Then I get out before I wake him. But just that picture of him..ahhh. Those things are Mommy drugs. Just a little fix till tomorrow.

These little moments, that they aren't even aware of, are some of my favorite of the day. They help me remind myself to be a better mom, to be a little more patient, and most importantly just be in the moment. Even though life is going so fast, to just slow things down and enjoy the moment with them. I know one day when Bella is 14 and Sandro is 10, or 24 and 20, I will miss these days more than anything and will be so mad at myself if I don't really take the time to enjoy my two biggest fans (at the moment).